Song In My Head 5/26

Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Early morning

Wow I just got off work and it is 1:08 am wow I think I am starting to get used to this.

At first I was nothing but tired and even my eating was all messed up. Now my eating is somewhat back to normal. All the people in the booth eat and eat.... When I said I was not hungry they thought that was weird but I explained that everything was all messed up because I was doing different things in the time I was supposed to be eating.

Well now that I am actually hungry they make fun of what things I eat... Because I eat healthy....And even though I still don't eat 100% healthy I still eat better than them.

Oh well what can I do.

Nicholas Sparks

I just finished the novel The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks. The novel was wonderful. This novel is kind of like a sequel to The Notebook which is also a wonderful story. I am not going to say anything about the story I just finished because I am afraid I will give the amazing part away.

I don't know how Sparks does it. I mean his writing is fantastic and I probably enjoy it because I am a romantic person. And it never fails I cry in every book I have read.

It started with watching the movie A Walk to Remember (made me cry). The movie is based off the novel by Nicholas Sparks. Then the movie The Notebook was coming to theaters so I read the book first (cried). I also cried when I saw the movie but not even close to as much as I cried reading the book. Then I read the book A Walk to Remember (and cried). Then like I said I just finished The Wedding (I cried some more).

Next I am planning to read Message in a Bottle (and probably will cry), and this novel was also made into a movie that I have never seen either.

Report Card

American National Government - B
Children's Literature - A
Biology - B
Biology Lab - C
American Sign Language- B

GPA = 3.15

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Changes 2005

2005 is going to be a year that I would probably call a landmark year for myself. It is the year Andy and I moved to Denver. My brother Michael is all done and will be graduated highschool.
My Mom and John got married the 16th of May... so I gained a stepfather and two older stepsisters. My Dad and Versa will be married June 17th and that means I will gain a stepmother and a younger stepbrother. And this is only May plus what is to come in June.

I think the biggest thing that stands out is my extended family. This year not only will my family gain on one side it will also gain on the other... I am not sure if many other people can say the same for their families.

I guess I better get to bed cuz I just got home from work
Love to everyone who reads this.
Shawna

Briceson

Yesterday when I was at work I saw a very old friend of mine. I was asking Andre if Carol had walked by yet to go back to the booth and then when he said she was still outside I walked off. Briceson was at the self checkout where Andre was was working and he asked if my name was Shawna. Andre yelled for me to come back over and there he was Briceson.

I met Briceson in 6th grade. I used to call him Peebo because of the singer Peebo Bryson. Through the next few years we had become very good friends. He had helped me through the break ups of my first two relationships and we even dated for about 5 months. At that point he was one of my best friends. He helped me through a lot of things, because you know that when you are 15 everything is a big deal even if looking back you realize most of it wasn't so big. He was also around for one big final advice for me. I was in a relationship with a guy who everyone knew it was a bad idea. Nothing bad had happened to me but I believe my friends when they advised me that he was not the person I should be with... Especially Briceson.

But then Briceson and I were no longer the friends that we were before... Still teens I know we had a lot of different things in our lives going on. I am sure I have not seen him in at least 6 years. Seeing him was great. It reminded me how far I have come in life. And I was glad to see he had done the same.

CD 3 Now complete

:)

CD #3

1) You Had Me - Joss Stone (3/28)
2) In My Life - Ryan Cabrera (4/5)
3) That's Me - Tara MacLean (4/5)
4) Video - India Arie (4/7)
5) Incompleate - Backstreet Boys (4/8)
6) Snakes and Ladders - Joss Stone (4/16)
7) Second Chances - Michelle Branch (4/21)
8) On My Knees - Jaci Velasquez (4/27)
9) I'm Moving On - Rascal Flatts (5/2)
10) Breathe - Melissa Etheridge (5/3)
11) Time After Time (remix) - DJ Sammy (5/5)
12) Again - Janet Jackson (5/5)
13) Unchained Melody - Sara MacLachlan (5/6)
14) Paint it Black - Vanessa Carlton (5/6)
15) I Showed Her - O-Town (11/29) - Lost from CD 1
16) Karma - Alicia Keys (5/12)
17) Anytime - Brian McKnight (5/17)

Song in My Head 5/17

Anytime - Brian McKnight

I can't remember why we fell apart
It's something that was so meant to be
Forever was the promise in the house
Now more and more I wonder where you are

Chorus:
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?
I miss you

Still have your picture in a frame
Hear your footsteps down the hall
I swear I hear your voice driving me insane
How I wish that you come to stay

Repeat Chorus

No more loneliness and heartache
No more crying myself to sleep
No more wondering about tomorrow
Would you come back to me, come back to me

Repeat Chorus to fade

Michael's B-day

Happy late posting of my little brother Michael's birthday. His birthday was on Saturday May 14th. He is 19 now wow!

New Job Position

Last night I started my new job position in the booth. It was such a short notice that I was starting that I have not had any time to write in my blog.

The booth is the little room with the safe and were you count and make clean tills. There is a lot of information and I still have not learned how to do it all yet. But I was starting to get the hang of it. We have a system that weighs the money to help you count it. I was pretty impressed at how this machine worked. Matt is the person training me. He said that I am already pretty fast. He said it was taking me 4 mins to count one and it usually takes him 2mins and he has been doing it for a long time.

I can dress nice for this job even though no one will really see me. I didn't dress up yesterday but I am going to today. I love dressing up but I feel nervous showing up to work dressed all nice. I am technically on the management schedule so that is why I can dress nice. All of my co-workers asked me if that meant I was becoming one of THEM and if I was going to be mean. Ha ha I thought that was funny.

Song In My Head 5/12

Karma - Alicia Keys

Weren't you the one that said, that you don't want me anymore.
And how you need your space, and give the keys back to your door.
And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me.
But still you said that love was gone, and that I had to leave.
Now you, talkin bout a family
Now you, sayin I complete your dream
Now you, sayin I'm your everything
You confusin me
What you say to me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.

Chorus
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back

I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
And when you came home, you'd always have some sorry excuse.
And explainin to me, like I'm just some kinda fool
I sacrifice the things I want to and do things for you
But when it's time to do for me, you never come through
Now you, wanna be a bond of me (eyyy)
Now you, have so much to say to me (heyy)
Now you, wanna make time for me
What you do to me.
You confusin me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.

Chorus

I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
Night after night
Knowin sumthing goin on
Wasn't home befo me
You was,you was gone

Lord knows it wasn't easy, but believe me.
Never thought you'd be the one that would deceived me.
And never do wha u was supposed to do
No need to hose me fool, cause I'm ova you
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me

What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Gotta stop tryin, to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
It's called Karma baby.
And it goes around.
What goes around, comes around,
What goes up, must comes down,
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me

Tattoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally got my tattoo. Carley and I went to get it yesterday after my finals. It is so cute. It is a turtle and it is near my left shoulder blade. ( If I could figure it out I would post a picture of it)

It didn't really hurt, but I am also not afraid of needles. At first it felt like I was getting a flu shot or something. There were 3 sections and each felt different. One section tickled... I don't know why and it even felt good. Another section hurt sometimes and didn't bother me other times. The last section hurt a bit... I guess because it was near and on my shoulder blade.

I am happy with it. I guess that is great because it is now permanent. Carley thought it was cute. My brothers Ben and Michael were the next ones to see it. They said it was "total a Shawna tattoo." And Andy who wasn't to thrilled at the idea said "it's a tattoo." Then he rubbed it like it would come off... Ouch. And now I smell like a baby with diaper rash because I have to put A&D ointment on it for three days.

Love Shawna

Now y'all can coment.

Ok I finally figured out how all my nonblog member friends can post comments so now you can even if you are not a blog member... at least I think I figured it out.

Love Shawna

Unchained Melody- Sarah McLauchlan version

Oh my love
My darling
I’ve hungered for your touch
A long lonely time
As time goes by so slowly
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love
To me
Lonely rivers flow
To the sea
To the sea
To the open arms
Of the sea
Lonely rivers sigh
"wait for me, wait for me"
I’ll be coming home
Wait for me.

Oh my love
My darling
I’ve hungered for your touch
A long lonely time
As time goes by so slowly
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love
To me

Song in My Head 5/6

Paint it Black - Vanessa Carlton
I see a red door and I want it painted black
no colors anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and they are painted black
with flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
like a new born baby it just happens every day
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it's heading into black
maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
it's not easy facing up when your whole world is black
I wanna see it painted painted, painted black,oh baby
I wanna see it painted painted, painted black,oh baby
No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the setting sun
my love will laugh with me before the morning comes
I wanna see it painted, painted black, oh
black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted from the sky
painted, painted, painted black oh baby
painted painted, painted black

1 more song today!!!!! 05/05/05

"Again" - Janet Jackson
I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back to me in
My mind


Chorus:
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again


A wounded heart you gave,
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many,
I know you did
I come from a place that hurts,
God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
Never fall again
Making love to you felt so good and
Oh so right

Repeat Chorus

So here we are alone again,

Didn't think I'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss
I've come to close to happiness,
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
No never fall in love again
Kinda late in the game
And my heart is in your hands
Don't you stand there and then tell me
You love me
Then leave again
'Cause I'm falling in love with you again
Hold me, hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do love you again

Song in My Head 5/5/5

Time After Time - DJ Sammy Remix (Cyndi Lauper)

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
and think of you
caught up in circles confusion--
is nothing new
Flashback--warm nights--
almost left behind
suitcases of memories,
time after--

sometimes you picture me--
I'm walking too far ahead
you're calling to me, I can't hear
what you've said--
Then you say--go slow--
I fall behind--
the second hand unwinds

chorus:
if you're lost you can look--and you will find me
time after time
if you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
time after time

after my picture fades and darkness has
turned to gray
watching through windows--you're wondering
if I'm OK
secrets stolen from deep inside
the drum beats out of time--

chorus:
if you're lost...

you said go slow--
I fall behind
the second hand unwinds--

chorus:
if you're lost...
...time after time
time after time
time after time
time after time

Song in My Head 5/3

"Breathe" - Melissa Etheridge

I played the fool today
I just dream of vanishing into the crowd
Longing for home again
Home, is a feeling I buried in you

I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

And I can't ask for things to be still again
No I can't ask if I could walk through the world in your eyes
Longing for home again
Home, is a feeling I buried in you

I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

My window through which nothing hides
And everything sees
I'm counting the signs and cursing the miles in between

Home

Home, is a feeling I buried in you, that I buried in you

I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe
Yeah, it only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe
Oh,it only hurts when I breathe

New Apartment

We have not moved yet but expect a new address coming to you soon. I really like the place I am living now and had planed to live here for a while. Andy and I decided to move because we decided that we could not afford this apartment and parking downtown.

The new place is awesome I fell in love with it. It is an apartment inside a house. It is a block from my work and quick bus ride to school a nice bike ride or bus ride for Andy to get to work.
We found it the other day and currently have the key so we can even start moving things in when we can. So be looking for the new address I will be sending it soon.

Love
Shawna

Dream

I had a dream the other night it was so real.

Andy and are were driving around a neighborhood late at night. There was a huge park near by and I saw two small boys running. It was too late and too cold for them to be out side. So we pulled over and watched the two boy to see if their parents were near by. The boys started walk near our car so I opened up the door and asked the boys where their mommy was. Both of them just stared at me. At least they had hats gloves and coats on, I could see their breath and you could tell they had been wiping their noses on their gloves. Their faces were so dirty and you could see that they had been crying too. So I asked them again where their mommy was and where their house was. One little boy told me he didn't know where his house was and his mommy was there. The other little boy said he lived with a lady named ***** (I can't remember the name) and his mom was somewhere called "The Valley." I asked they boys if they wanted to sit in our car while we got a police man to come take them to there homes. Right as they were getting in the car the alarm woke me up for work.

Weird dream but it was so real and detailed.

Song in My Head 5/2

"I'm Moving On" - Rascal Flatts

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on