I can't believe it!

I am a member of myspace.com. You can chat and make friends, post bullitins and so on. Some time people post games like, "Answer these 50 questions about yourself" and so on. A friend of mine posted this:

I am the girl that transferred schools because I was tired of people telling me that my brother was a fag.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong.

I couldn' t believe this post it was so sad and horrible and I do beleive homophobia is wrong and have many gay friends and co-workers. SO I REPOSTED IT, like the post said. And absolutly none of my online friends reposted. I really couldn't believe this one. I tried to convince myself that maybe no one read my post because they find posts anoying and never read them. But I also got angry and thought that they are homophobic and even madder when I thought that they read it and think homophobia is wrong but are too scared to post that belief that maybe if they did somone would call them the fag.

Monday...

I started school for the fall semester. That is why I have not added anything to my blog in quite a few days.

Tuesday I had a lot of things to do on campus. My two classes on Tuesday are hours apart so for some of the time I sat outside and observed the people. One thing I love about Metro is the diversity. White, Black. Asian, India, Native American, Gay, Straight, of all ages.... And anything else I forgot.

With in my observations I noted the girls in the short skirts and halter tops or barely there tank-tops. The girls with too much make-up. The young men in their baseball caps and skateboards pushing each other around while they go to class.

The obvious Freshmen that stand around on campus in large groups of high school friends like they were still in high school. Loud and obnoxious and looking more for parties than knowledge. Thinking that college will be a piece of cake because they got A's in high school. Even the freshmen that are there too learn wonder around campus lost and if you are an old pro like me you can see it on there face... FRESHMAN!!!!! Then I wonder, was I the same in any sort of way? Could older students see it on my face too?

Falling Up Stairs

If you say "I fell up the stairs" you would get a few different responses like, "oh you mean you tripped" or "you can't fall up stairs" or "oh I did that once." Unless you know me, my mom, or brother Michael well, you might be thinking the same thing. I don't know how or why we do it we just do.



Two nights ago at work I did that very thing... fell up the stairs. The room that I work in is up stairs 14+ steps. Up one... then 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Turn walk about 3 steps and then... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. A few more foot steps to the door. Well maybe around the final 4th or 5th I fell. I was carrying a til full of money and caught myself with my knees on the step... and luckily didn't spill any money. My knees hurt so bad and are on ice right now.

Lunch with Alec

Today I had lunch with my friend Alec. We met at Cinzettis like always. Alec and I can spend hours there.
Alec told me that when I switched templates on my blog my readers could no longer comment unless blog members. I fixed it again so you can comment again even if you are not a blog member. :) Yea for me!

Alec is probably the biggest fan of the songs in my head cds. I finally gave him #3 and #4 and he was excited to hear about #5 already in progress and about halfway done. #5 starts a completely new blog(link above).

School starts Monday. I am excited like I have always been about school. I have 4 classes (13 credits again) and like always I am going to be busy.

Class schedule:

Monday: Educational Psychology 9:00-10:45am
Tuesday: Audiology 8:30- 9:15am
Intro to Art/Music 2:30-3:45pm
Wednesday: same as Monday
Thursday: Same as Tuesday
Friday: Oral interpretations 12:30-2:50pm

Another favorite picture

From the time that we have had Ziggy he had been sick for most of it. I call both of my cats my babies. Ziggy acts like my baby too. When he didn't feel good he wanted to be babied a snuggle with me. Andy took this picture of me and and Ziggy sleeping. Both of us were not feeling good that morning and we just wanted to sleep. I guess Ziggy had crawled on my back and fell a sleep because I was still sleeping. The most interesting part of the picture is if you zoom in on Ziggy's nose you can tell he was sick because he had a booger in his nose. But I still love the picture.

Sable's blog entry

n cnhmnbfrnbfbn xbnmn c cccccc db f s fhgghgh hfjh bnfbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbv n vvn nvmmn


I sat down to write something and Ms. Sable kitty jumped in my lap like usual. Then she turned and faced the computer and the started stepping on the keyboard. She looked so cute like she was imitating me because she knows the routine... mom gets home from work and sits at this thing and taps on this thing making a clicking noise. LOL

She was sooooo cute that I decided that I wouldn't erase it.

Do you need a place to live.

The apartment below me is for rent in September. I don't know much about it, but if someone is interested then let me know and I will find out for you.

I live in a house that was made into two separate apartments. Andy and I live on the second floor and it is the 1st floor will be open sometime in September.

Another touching story

Here is another story I got through email and wanted to share.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all hisbooks on aFriday? He must really be a nerd. "I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with myfriends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seenhim before.

He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some seriousmuscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled."Thanks!," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began

"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being afriend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy toldus all about his weakest moment I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. We're in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

School

School starts again August 22nd.... wow really soon. Again I am only taking 13 credits and I will still be busy. The way it works out I have one class monday and wednesday mornings. Two classes Tuesday and Thursday and one class of friday. It doesn't seem to be a bad schedule.

WOOOO WHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday I finally got to go to Water World this summer. I didn't get to go last summer at all and I didn't like that very much at all. Some how I got a Sunday off so Andy and I got to go. We went with his friend from work Maggie and her friend Yurik. It was so fun. And the best news is I only got sunburnt a little on my shoulders and it faded into a tan yesterday. :)

Overwhelming

A few seconds ago I was thinking about how many people have come back into my life now that I am the farthest away from home that I have ever been. Then I got a little overwhelmed. It is a good thing, don't get me wrong. I have only been in Denver for 7 months and then all of these people I have not seen in forever appear almost magically.

It all started when I started working at my new store and I saw Mariam, a girl have gone to school with since the first grade. Later I saw Michelle (also at my store) a girl that I went to high school with and was a part of my circle of friends. Soon after (also at work) I see Briceson another really good friend form school. Downtown I ran into two girls I knew in junior high school and a guy who swears that we went to elementary school together but I didn't remember him. At school I have seen a few people from high school that graduated before or after me, but I never say anything because I don't know if they know me.

Carley got me into this thing called myspace where you make new friends online and you can find old friends too. Michelle found me on myspace. Michelle also told me about Kris another name from the past that I had not heard in years. And today I got a myspace message from Briceson's sister Desiree.

Wow!

I really have no idea what to say

I got home from work 20 minutes ago. I checked my email, visited myspace, and sat here at the computer wondering what to write in my blog. I look down at my lap and Sable (my little kitty) is content and warm on my lap. I have black cat hair all over my white work shirt from her rubbing up against my chest stretching her neck out for a kiss on the lips. Its funny how both my kitties love kisses on the lips. Ziggy (my other kitty) just meowed calling for his sister and she jumped of my lap and now my lap is getting cold.

Work is going pretty well. I am still liking what I do and the store I am at. Monday night the power went out for 2 hours and that put me behind. The generator was working but that didn't help much. I was stuck there till 3:00 a.m. and that was not fun.

Tuesday I got to see Mary and her family. Her daughter Holly will turn 7 on October 3rd. Holly is a wonderful little girl. She asked me if she could stay the night at my house, so I told her I would request a weekend off for her to stay over.

Wednesday I found out about the passing of my my friend Kris and her daughter Lilly. It is so sad and I still can't believe it. My friends have been very kind sharing their sadness and support with me.

Today is Thursday and it was ok... oh wait it is Friday because it is 1:54 a.m. now. So today is my day off and I should be ready for bed.
Good night!

P.S. Sable came back

What had happened.

Firefighters were unable to save a mother and toddler after a fire broke out in a four-plex early Sunday morning. 8 a.m. July 31, 2005.

The fire began shortly before 5 a.m. Sunday in the 1300 block of Swallow Road. When firefighters arrived, the four-unit building was fully engulfed in flames.

"I heard a boom, it woke me out of a dead sleep," said one woman. Other neighbors also said they heard an explosion. However investigators aren't sure whether the fire caused the explosion or if it happened the other way around.

Crews worked quickly to put the flames out, but despite their efforts, they were unable to reach a woman and a child trapped on the second floor.

Heather Bartsch, who lived in a neighboring unit, said she screamed at the woman to get out. "She said 'Oh my God' and then went back inside,'" said Bartsch.

Family members confirm 23-year-old Kris Kueneman and her daughter, Lilly, did not make it out alive.

Some people had to jump from windows to escape. Five people were treated at the hospital for smoke inhalation, burns or other injuries. One person remains hospitalized.

Firefighters say the building is most likely a total loss. People living elsewhere in the complex have returned home. The displaced families are either staying with friends or at local hotels.

The complex, which provides low-income housing to families with children, had smoke alarms. But because of Fort Collins city code, it was not required to have sprinklers.

The fire burned through the four-unit building 6 in the Care Housing complex on West Swallow Road in Fort Collins.

"It's just hard to believe that something like this could happen," says Heather Bartsch, a neighbor of the young woman who was killed.

The fire broke out a little before 5 a.m. Sunday. Twenty-three-year-old Kris Kueneman and her 8-month-old daughter were living on the second floor of the building and didn't make it out.

The fire was so intense that it melted glass and nearby cars. Investigators are checking to see if accelerants were used. They'll also save and sift through debris from the front of the building where neighbors say painting supplies were being stored.

Bartsch says she'll miss her friend and neighbor, Kris. "She was always just so willing to talk no matter how bad her day was, she was always there to cheer you up," says Bartsch.

Story and picture from 9news.com

Today...

I just found out that a friend from high school, Kris Kuenenan, passed away Sunday. It is strange to think about how she was young (I think a year or two older than me) and she is not here anymore. I really can't remember the last time I had talked to her. I think she may have been working at Subway at the Fort Collins mall. We where not best friends and at sometimes only acquaintances but it still is sad.

I am a person who people feel comfortable telling me their stories and their problems... I often know people better than they know me. Kris always talked to me.

Kris, you will be missed.

New blog

I decided to make songs in my head its own blog @ http://songsinmyhead.blogspot.com

Shawna :)

Songs in My Head #4

CD 4 is done (p.s. Mom I am sending you 1-4 ok!)

1. Here Without You- 3 Doors Down (5/26)
2. He Didn't Have to Be - Brad Paisley (6/16)
3. What I Really Meant to Say - Cyndi Thomson (6/17)
4. Kiss the Rain - Billie Myers (7/1)
5. Somebody's Hero - Jamie O'Neal (7/10)
6. Best of You - Foo Fighters (7/14)
7. Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional (7/14)
8. All I Know - Syd (7/15)
9. Forever Love - Anna Nalick (7/17)
10. Cold - Crossfade (7/18)
11. If You Could Only See - Tonic (7/19)
12. You Are - Jimmy Wayne (7/20)
13. These Days - Rascal Flats (7/21)
14. The Red - Chevelle (7/22)
15. Breathe - Anna Nalick (7/23)
16. Nothing Else - Justin Timberlake (7/24)
17. Dammit - Syd (7/27)
18. Suffocating - Chevelle (7/28)