Song in My Head 1/31/05 II

Let Her Feel The Rain --- Tara MacLean
Captured in a photograph
In black and white
Her hair brushes her shoulders
As she leans to turn out the light
She's warm and you can feel her
But she can't feel you
No she's just too numb to move

Captured in a photograph
Without a frame
I see you standing tall
But I see no face to blame
And did she say she loved you
Well you know that's really nice
Because they say that when she cries
Her tear drops turn
They turn to ice

Let her feel the rain
Won't you let her feel again
Feeling through the pain
Won't you let her feel the rain
Upon her face
Let her feel the rain
Won't you let her feel the rain
Upon her face

Captured in a photograph
Inside her eyes
she'll wrap ypu in her blanket
And then she'll tell you some lies
and you will kneel before her
At her altar in the trees
Because they say no matter who you are
She'll bring you to your knees.

Let her feel the rain...

Song in My Head 1/31/05

Why Should I? by Diana Anaid

I don't know you anymore
And all the rules we set
For whatever this is
I wanna break them all like you did
I'm on dangerous ground right now
And all the guys I've missed
For whatever this is
The truth is I loved you more

Why should I give this
Another day, Another week
I know you don't mean it
all the things you said to me
I'm crazy to believe you again
Don't even try
Don't try to explain

What a fool I can be sometimes
Taking all your lies
I am kicking myself
I should've seen the way it would end up
It's too late to be sorry now
For us to try and work things out
I am kicking myself
I should've known you'll let me down

Why should I give this
Another day, Another week
I know you don't mean it
All the things you said to me
I'm crazy to believe you again
Don't even try
Don't try to explain

What made you so sure
That you wouldn't be caught by now
I don't know what you thought
I'd want you around
Don't come to close to soon
Don't know what to say to you
If it's true, it did'nt mean a thing

I don't know you anymore
And all the rules we set
For whatever this is
I wanna break them all like you did
I'm on dangerous ground right now
And all the guys I've missed
For whatever this is
the truth is I loved you more
I loved you

Song in My Head 1/30/05

November -- Emerson Drive


She was sitting on a park bench
Feeding pigeons on Beacon Hill
I was taking my dog Jack out for a run
We had time to kill
I still don't know if it was Jack or me
That somehow caught her eye
But the next thing I knew we were sitting there takling
Laughing into the night
And from that moment on
She never left my side
Thosr autumn nights were long
She was the first love of my life

I still can feel the softness of her hair
Falling on my face
My arms all around her
There's always something about this time of year
That takes me to that place
And I remember
Yes I remember
November
oh yeah

She was working her way through school
Wating tables at the Hungry Eye
I was playing a club down on the waterfront
Afterward she'd come by
Around 3am we'd grab some takeout
In the heart of Chinatown
And we'd hang out and stay up all night long
Just talking and messing around

I never would have dreamed
We'd ever say goodbye
She felt like the sun to me
On those cold November nights
Looking back I can't explain
What happened on that dark December day
I guess we were just two kids
Going different ways

Light Rail Crash

Hello! Wow I got to see it... No I didn't see it happen but I got to look at the damage. An ambulance and a light rail collided one block from my apartment. Then the light rail crashed into a building. This happened between 15th and 16th on California. My apartment is between 15th and 16th on Stout. It took me a minute or less to walk over and look at the damage. It's strange because I have been taking the light rail to school everyday.... But I'm not scared I will still take it to school.

My Yahoo Radio Station Put More Songs in My Head 1/29/05

Let Me Go
By 3 Doors Down

One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

Chorus
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm going through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And it seems real to me

Chorus
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just let me go
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I know
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows

and you love me but you don't
know who I am
you love you but you don't know me

Song in My Head 1/29/05

Hotel Paper --- Michelle Branch
I write mostly on hotel paper
Knowing that my thoughts will never leave this room
I'd be out of line telling you, "leave her'
So I lie lonely surrounded by you
by you

Lately I can't be happy for no one
They think I need some time to myself
I try to smile but I can't remember
And I know tomorrow there'll be nothing else

And I wanted to be giving you everything that she's not giving
And I wanted to see
'Cause I didn't believe what I'd been hearing

You turned out to be more than I bargained for
And I can tell that you need to get away
Forgive me if I admit that I'd love to love you
We both realized it way too late

And I wanted to be
Giving you everything that she's not giving
And I wanted to see
'Cause I didn't believe what I'd been hearing

Maybe this wind blowing in just came from the ocean
I write mostly on hotel paper

Song in My Head 1/28/05

STILL --- Brian McKnight

Funny when you stop and think
Time goes faster than you blink
But nothing's ever
Like it was
But girl we've got a special thing
And all the happiness it brings
Is more than enough
I know it's hard to believe
You're still the biggest part of me
All I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
And need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
All I ever wanted was you
You're still the one
You're still the one
It's hard to breath when we're apart
You're like sunshine in my heart
I keep you here inside
You've been everything to me
You've been and always be
The apple of my eye
I know it is hard to believe
You're still the biggest part of me
All I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
And need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
All I ever wanted was you
You're still the one
You're still the one
If you love me
Look into my eyes
And say you do
I've been waiting
All my life
For someone
Just like you
And baby after all we've been through
Girls I'm still in love with you
And I want you to know I do, I do
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
And need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
All I ever wanted was you
You're still the one
You're still the one

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

I have read the book The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks and I have also seen the move based on the book.
I really liked the book. The story is about true love and how true love never dies. Maybe even a little bit about how things happen for a reason. The story starts with the main character an old man in a nursing home reading a story to a woman about true love. He reads to her everyday from his notebook. The story he reads to her is about a two people who were in love and then could not be together. Days before the young woman is going to be married she finds her first love and has to decide if she wants to proceed with her wedding.
I wont give away the ending

And if you see the movie you will still be impressed with the story but I will tell you the ending of the movie is much different than the book.

:) Love
Shawna

Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone we finally got our couch!!!!!!!!! It is very nice. Now we are trying to figure out what color to paint a wall in the living room. Well I don't really have much to say this morning I just had some extra time before school
Love Shawna

About Me

My Favorites

Color: Purple
Food: Pasta
Book: The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
Smell: Fresh baked bread and snow/rain
Perfume: Curve ( for men and women)
Tooth Paste: The new orange one I think it is Crest
Animal: Turtles and Cats
Dessert: Any pie
Song: I Can Love You Like That by John Michael Mongomery and When You Say Nothing At All by Allison Kraus
Music Group(s): LifeHouse, Rascal Flatts, Shaye, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Beatles, Vertical Horizon, Linkin Park
Musicsan(s): Tara MacLean, Johnny Lang, Kelly Clarkson, Avril Lavinge, LeeAnn Womack, Martina McBride, John Mayer, Nelly, Usher
Month: October, September and March

Ummm I guess that is it right now

Second day of school!

Wow I forgot what it was like being in school. Man I am so tired. But I am enjoying the school experience so far and I didn't even cringe at the fact that I have assignments in all my classes already. It feels good to be back into the school scene with an 100% positive attitude (not even National Government scares me)
Here is my school schedule because I know that knowing is important to some of you.

Monday & Wednesday
children's Lit 8:30-9:45
Biology 10:00- 11:15
American Sign Language 1:00-2:15

Tuesday
American National Government 8:30-9:45
Bio Lab 12:00-2:50

Thursday
A.N.G. 8:30-9:45

Friday
NO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Song in My Head 1/15/05

"Never Gonns Leave Your Side" ---- Daniel Bedingfield

I feel like a song without the words
A man without a soul
A bird without its wings
A heart without a home
I feel like a knight without a sword
The sky without the sun
Cuz you are the one
I feel like a ship benith the waves
A child that's lost its way
A door without a key
A face with out a name
I feel like a breath without the air
And every day's the same
Since you've gon away

I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are no words that could describe how I miss you
And I miss you everyday
yeah

And I'm never gonna leave your side
And I'm never gonna leave your side again
Sill holding on girl
I won't let you go
Cuz when I'm lying in your arms
I know I'm home

They tell me that a man can loose his mind
Living in the pain
Recalling times gone by
And crying in the rain
You know I've wasted half the time
And I'm on my knees again
'Till you come to me
yeah
I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are no words that could describe how I miss you
And I miss you everyday
yeah
And I'm never gonna leave your side
And I'm never gonna leave your side again
Still holding on girl
I won't let you go
I lay my head against your heart
I know I'm home
I know I'm home

I wish I kept my Rainbow Brite Dolls!

I was at my friend Mary's house yesterday and her son Austin was throwing around a doll and making the doll crash into cars and things. Asked him if I could see it. He handed it to me and it was a Buddy Blue Rainbow Brite doll. If I remember corectly I never had the Buddy Blue Doll because it was hard to find. Then Austin came back to the couch with another doll Canary Yellow (I did have that one) and we started playing a little fighting game with the dolls.

So when I got home I had to look up the dolls and see how much they were selling for and how hard it was to find them. Now I wish I still had them.

This is what I found:
Rainbow Brite is the easiest(*) to find but can cost you $10-30 to buy right now and $5-7 to buy the Sprite that came with her
Red Butler (I had) is said to be fairly easy(**) to find and could cost you $15-30 to buy now
Lala Orange (I had) is very difficult (***) to find especially with her hat and would be about $30-50
Canary Yellow (I had) would be about $20-40 (**)
Patty O'Green(I had) I guess is easy to find (*) but is still $10-30
Buddy Blue especially with head band (***) $15-50
Shy Violet (I can't remember if she was mine or if my friend had her) is very difficult to find (***) $10-30
Indigo (not sure if I knew her doll existed) is the most difficult to find (****)
Information from www.rainbowbrite.tv

What is in your body wash??????

Could your body wash be clogging your drain? Mine is! I have always had to unclogg my mess of hair from the bathtub drain so of course that is all I thought it was. So we went to the store and bought some drain cleaner and well the drain was still clogged. With a plunger we tried to unclogg the drain and wouldn't you know it little tiny WAX beads came out of the drain. The beads were the same color as the specks in my body wash. Sure enough one of the ingredients in the soap is a type of wax and the beads have been melting in the drain causing it to clog.

Weird!

Peace
Shawna

Funny Story

Today I got done with laundry, wrote in my blog, and headed out to go to Ross (since I live above the department store). As I was leaving the building I saw someone I thought looked familiar. "Hey!" she said, "What are you doing here?" It was my cousin Neotha. "I live here!" I told her. Neotha was looking for an apartment in Denver and was checking out my building. Neotha is living in Denver now and attending CU but is looking for a new place to move. I didn't even know she was in Denver and she didn't know I had moved to Denver either.

Funny what a small world we live in.
Shawna

Thanks Mom

My mom posted a song on my yesterday blog titled 29 rocks (check it out). It is so sweet and it made me cry so now I have to find the song and listen to it.

I am so greatful to have a wonderful family and friends to suport me.

Well so I get to work at store 29 and I am so happy. I don't start for a few more weeks though. Andy has a interveiw today so things are looking better. Yesterday I went to lunch with Alec who is one of my new friends from store 11. We had lunch at a place in Boulder called Casa Alverez. It took forever to get there because Alec forgot what way to go but he was so close and we did find it. It was a great restraunt, Alec picked an awesome place.

Everything is looking better and I am excited for school. Andy was teasing me last night because I was looking at my text books instead of watching the movie we rented.

Love Shawna

A Poem by Me

Beautiful --- by Shawna

You said I was beautiful
But I don't think I am
I don't feel that way
But today I looked at myself
In the mirror
I looked myself in the eyes
I looked down deep in my heart
And I can see you looking
Into my eyes too
With in my eyes,
Through your eyes
I can see I am truly
BEAUTIFUL
Like you said
I am

Smile

Smile it will make your day brighter!!!!!!!

Love Shawna

:)
:)

29 rocks

I am very sleepy right now so I need to go to bed! But I couldn't leave you all hanging store 29 rocks!
I now have a job, but I wont be working for a couple more weeks.
I will tell you all later when I can actually think when I write

Song In My Head 12/9/05

I HATE MYSELF FOR LOSING YOU --- Kelly Clarkson

i woke up today
woke up wide awake
in an empty bed
staring at an empty room
i have myself to blame
for the state i'm in today
and now dying doesn't seem so cruel
and oh, i don't know what to say
and i don't know anyway, anymore
i hate myself for losing you
i'm seeing it all so clear
i hate myself for losing you
what do you do when you look in the mirror
and staring at you is why he's not here
you got what you deserved
hope you're happy now
'cause every time I think of you
with her
it's killing me inside
and now i dread each day
knowing i can't be saved
from the loneliness of living without you
and oh, i don't know what to do
not sure that i'll pull through
i wish you knew
i hate myself for losing you
and oh, i don't know what to do
not sure that i'll pull through
i wish you knew, i wish you knew
and oh, i don't know what to say
and i don't know anyway, anymore
no, no
what do you say, when everything you said
is the reason why he left you in the end
how do you cry when every tear you shed
won't ever bring him back again
i hate myself for loving you

29!

29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29

I knew 29 was a good number! Well ok so I maybe I shouldn't get so excited but I might actually have a job with King Soopers still. I talked with the store manager at this store 29 and it sounds like I am in. Wow!!!! This Denver experience has already turned out to be crazy. And now you all have something to look forward to reading.

Love Shawna

P.S. Thanks Mom for making comments on my blog. It is nice to know that someone is reading this and nice to hear from you too.

No wonder people live on the streets!!!

Greetings from Denver!!!!!

Well here is a wonderful story full of tears and heartbreak for a young girl who had a dream to got back to school:

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

School things are coming together nicely :) But I seriously mean it when I say "No wonder people are forced to live on the streets in Denver!" First the whole apartment thing and now something that left me sobbing and so upset I could hardly eat all day.

I was so sure I was going to transfer to King Soopers store #1, but no not now. I DON"T HAVE A JOB!!! I was told I can't transfer because of layoff situations but yeah something I could have known yesterday. I am just hoping that I am floating around in the King Soopers system so I can try to transfer to yet another King Soopers in the area (but still inconvenient to me because my car is in Fort Collins) Or I will need to find another job. Good thing I live on the 16th Street Mall, Ha Ha Ha Ha ( a laugh from a pissed off me that is somewhat happy about the thought of a new job and not because I had one)

So I had walked to store #1 because it only takes 20 mins for me to walk there and asked what was going on, and like I said before was denied and position. Then I had to wait for a prescription while I cried and cried and looked like a crazy person. Then I walked home balling. Some other people gave me weird looks and I think I also freaked out a bum begging for money.

Well I'll let you guys know what is going on
Love Shawna

Song in My Head 1/6/05

"Echo" ---- Trapt

Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time
To waste asking why
I'll run away with you by my side
I'll run away with you by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
(Asking why)

I think about your face
And how I fall into your eyes
The outline that I trace
Around the one that I call mine
Time that called for space
Unclear where you drew the line
I don't need to solve this case
And I don't need to look behind
CHORUS

I expect to change, the past I hold inside
With all the words I say,
Repeating over in my mind
Sometimes you can't erase, no matter how hard you try,
An exit to escape is all there is left to find

Close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time
To waste asking why
I'll runaway with you by my side
I'll runaway with you by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo in mind
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside

(I know I always loved you)
(I know I always loved you)
(I know I always loved you)

So I close my eyes
Let the whole thing pass me by
There is no time
To waste asking why
I'll run away with you by my side
I'll run away with you by my side
I need to let go, let go, let go, let go of this pride,
Until this echo, echo,echo, echo in my mind
Until this echo, echo, echo, echo can subside

Why do I write "Song in My Head"

I love music. I love to share music with others. Sometimes music is the only way I can describe how I feel. Sometimes music reminds me of people I love, or a place I have been. Most of the time I don't tell you why I chose to share a song because I hope it touches you too and maybe it wont have the same effect on you, and that is a good thing.

Love Shawna

Today is a day

Today is one of those days when you wake up and feel like you have everything to say but nothing to say at the same time. You have a lot on your mind but nothing seems clear enough, or important enough to share. I have days like this. I am sure many other people do too. Ryan and I think that this is more common in Pisces people but maybe because we are both Pisces.

Well got to get my butt in gear I just woke up and it is 12:06pm
Love Shawna

Shawna's thought of the day

The worst person to lie to is yourself. You are the only person gulible enough to believe yourself 99% of the time. You are the best person to convince yourself that what you say is the truth, even when you know its not true. When you lie to yourself it hurts twice as bad because you have to live with the guilt of lying to someone and the hurt of finding out what you have been told is a lie. It also hurts because sometimes you do know the truth and you can do nothing about it; this is because no one will believe that you told yourself that sort of lie.

Thanks--- this has been a Shawna original thought

Happy 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!
Yes I know it is a little late and all but my days are all so busy.
New Years Eve day Andy and I spent unpacking our things. In downtown Denver, right on the 16th street mall, there were two fireworks shows. We managed to go to both, because one was at 9:00 and the other at 12:00 and they were shooting the fireworks of of a building two buildings over from where our appartment was. It was crazy how many people were in my neighborhood, and how many people had driven to a place I already was. And it was probably a good thing that they didn't come to see me.
Then New Years day and the 2nd we were still unpacking and then yesterday was Andy's 25th birthday and we just had fun all day and his dad and brother came to visit.
Our only other visitors so far was Mary and her children Holly and Austin.
But I have had a few calls to check up on me. Carley was the first one, then Dad, then Ryan and this morning it was Alec.
Next week I should be starting work and the 18th I start school. But I still want people to come see.

Have to keep busy!
Hope to see you soon
LOVE SHAWNA

p.s. it is snowing right now and that is pissing me off!!!!!!!!!