A look I never want to see again

Yesterday was Thursday and my day off. But I told Sue, my manager, that would come in after school and help out. While there I kept thinking "why did I tell Sue I would come in".

One of my fellow co-workers and friends is a 40-year-old woman with 9 children, and one grandchild. It amazes me, it sounds as though she has practically raised the children by herself, even though she has a husband. Her third oldest daughter also works with me and is my friend. Recently her oldest son started working with us as well.

Last night she was scheduled to close the photo lab. I was eating my lunch outside and I see her running out side, her face a combination of pale and red, tears flying down her face. She sees me and yells something to me, but I can't here her through all the tears and loud traffic of the parking lot. But I could make out enough "....go.... daughter... sorry" and that was enough. I said it's ok and told her to go. I knew someone in the store would know what was going on.

Her saying sorry to me was because the meant I had to finish the film left in the photo lab and shut it down... but trust me I didn't mind.

She had gotten a call saying her daughter had committed suicide. Next the few people who knew... other management and the people who heard her scream because the work near the photo lab, started wondering if it was the daughter that worked with us. I told them it couldn't have been because she would have used her name and some one else heard her say older daughter. I started putting it together... her oldest daughter only 23. She had recently told me that her daughter started some kind of anti-depressant and asked me id 23-year-old could really be that depressed. She didn't understand and I gave her some advice... telling her the depression is serious and her daughter did the right thing to start taking meds even if this only temporary.

I kept hoping and praying that it was some kind of miscommunication or only an attempt and that her daughter was no in fact dead. We waited and waited for a call and the more we waited the worst it felt and sounded.

Finally call and her daughter was ok... only an attempt. I hope they get her the right treatment.

I will never forget that look though. It is the worst look I have ever seen. The look of a mother that thought her daughter was gone forever. A mother who loves her children so much, and scared to death that something was wrong. The way her body looked when she ran to her car, it was like she wanted to tellaport right to her daughter's side.

I never want to see that again.... but I am so happy that her daughter is still alive. And I hope she doesn't blame herself or think that those of us that knew what was going on blame her, or think that makes her a bad mother... becasue it doesn't.